begin-ner

was I
have I
did I
not so sure
even
not so blur

I was
I have
I really did
some marks said so
some bruises tell me so

still I fall
still I'm bruised
and
surprise
for the feel and the sensations

cry and laughs
as I was not
have not
did not
ever be in

such a begin-ner
of falling
all over
of
love

picture: http://www.skatescool.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/beginner-inline-skater.jpg

Recycled Houses

Get in the Crowd

Once there was a moment for one girl to be curious about herself.
The moment happened for one time in one moment of her life.
After and before the moment ended, she needs to find herself ways to figure out herself.

Figuring out herself needs more than one moment.
Figuring out herself needs more than one way.
Figuring out herself needs more than one time to try.
The long way of curiosity.
The long way moment.
The long way in trying.

Once there was a moment for one boy to be curious about himself.
The moment happen for the whole his life.
With or without come to his way from figuring out.
Even so, he needs more than one moment, one way and one try to fulfill the curiosity.
As the same as the girl.

Silence

Today come after yesterday,
the day that you were here,
as today.

Yesterday finished before today,
when you are here,
as yesterday.

In silence we were..
In silence we are..

Love can never be so silence.
Love is too silence to be listened and too be loud to be spoken.
As we were..
As we are..
...in the silence and in the loud of our love.

"mine is yours"

Everybody might know how to say something, everything that he/she wants to say.
The sounds of the words could be different from each people.
The meaning of the words and sentences have a big possibility of differences, which the tone, the aim and the character from the person who talks gonna be the important things to consider.

So, when you hear someone talk to you of some words in some sentences, you will give one or some reactions, which is/are an/some output/s from the meaning of the words, the tone, the aim and the character of the person you get.

Making people get to know our character, that what we do everyday.
Most of us always stick to one character, or, most of us believe that he/she sticks to one character.
Do most of us stick to the one and only one character..?

Being oneself is what we do everyday...with only one or more character.
I've found, that some people like to be predictable and the others like to be not (in purpose and not in purpose).
And, for those who like to be unpredictable in purpose, should take "making the other people regret and feeling regret because of others" as an ordinary situation, with or without their acceptance to the situations.

We never know exactly who is the one we have conversation with, so understanding for everybody is the weapon to avoid the uncomfortable situation.
That's what we have to do, if we want feel comfortable in any ways.
And when there's someone seems having a big effort to discourage your understanding sense, giving a nice "walk away" action as your big understanding could be a choice then.

Understanding always becomes a top theme in friendship.
Does it..?
What will happen when the existing of the character sees the understanding as a barrier or just as a tool..?

When you love someone, understanding has became a theme in relationship too.
And there are some examples for giving the understanding on the above or under the existing of the character.

Do you mind if i say, one thing that we can share as "ours" or "mine is yours" or "yours is mine" is "The Understanding"..?
Actually, there are so many understanding has been given to us everyday..

The sunrise, the sunset, the moon, the stars, the rain, the snow, the falling leaves, the birth, the death, the smile, the tears, the knowledge, the hand, the leg, the foot, the brain, the lips, the chick, the chin, the eyes, the stomach, the heart, the
soul, the breast, the chest, the toe, the cry, the clothes, the pain, the shoes, the bible, the quran, the neighbor, the friend, the lover, the mother, the father, the child, the pet, the computer, the typewriter, the book, the mobile phone, the car, the train, the plane, the love, the hate, the sick, the health, you, me, us, they, mine, yours, ours, theirs, are some of it.

- how -

Everyday there's..
.. a must for something to be happened.
.. a time to be passed.
.. a routine goes on and on.
.. a new foot step made.
.. a hand reaching out.
.. a thing to be thought.
and..
.. a moment..when i find, you.

--mybedroomsept1609

...i have...

When we think that we are not alone...have we ever made a clear definition for "Not Alone"..?
If we look to some dictionaries, we won't find "Not Alone", we can only find "Alone".
So, we need to add "Not" to make a contrary meaning from the definition and finally we have "Not Alone".
The necessary to find out what's "Not Alone" might be not everyone need.
Actually, behind the exploration of it ("Not Alone"), there's a personal question, that "Are we really not alone when we think so..?"..(at least for the writer).

"Alone" in some dictionaries, it's gonna say:
- 1: separated from other 2: not including anyone or anything else
(The Merriam-Webster Dictionary - The Words You Need Today, Merriam-Webster, 1997, USA, page 38)
- without the company or help of others or other things
(Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary of Current English - Revised and Updated, A S Hornby, Oxford University Press, 1981, page 24)

Let's make a little exploration of them word by word, referring to "Not Alone"

First step, there are 2 words in "Not Alone", they are: Not + Alone.
So, for every definition, that has been found out, will be added "Not" to fit with "Not Alone"

Second, adding "Not" in front of each "Alone" definition.
They will be like these:

NOT + separated from other;
NOT + not including anyone or anything else;
NOT + without the company or help of others or other things.

Third, processing the blended of "Not" and "Alone" definitions.
From: NOT + separated from other = Not separated from other.

From: NOT + not including anyone or anything else
----= Not+not = Yes (Positive)
----= (Positive) Including someone or something.

From: NOT + without the company or help of others or other things
----= Not+without
----= Not+ (Not+with)
----= Not+Not+with
----= Yes (Positive)+with
----= (Positive) with the company or help of others or other things.

Fourth, making a temporary conclusions for the definition of "Not Alone".
"Not Alone":
- Not separated from other;
- Including someone or something;
- with the company or help of others or other things.

So, when we are not separated from other,including someone or something, or with the company or help of others or other things, means we are not alone.

Are we satisfied with those definitions?
Could them cover enough "Not Alone" from any perspectives?

Are they suitable for this condition, examples:
- One country which built in one island, has 100 people as a member, who have suspicious feeling for each other.
- Two girl walk side by side are going to one park, one of them talk on her mobile phone.
- A husband who likes to entertain his wife, who likes to reject her husband.

Or we will need another word to describe those conditions?

Tergila-gila..

Waktu itu monas masih jadi salah satu tujuan wisata..(sekarang?)

Waktu itu sudah sore menjelang malam..
Papah, Mamie, adik-adik dan diriku, baru sampai di taman monas.
Sebentar lagi akan ada atraksi air mancur.
Dalam kondisi sekitar yang agak temaram..terlihat ada beberapa penjual dengan beraneka barang dagangan.
Namun yang paling teringat adalah tukang jualan poster, ada bermacam poster digeletakkan si bapak penjual di atas alas plastiknya.

Mengapa yang paling teringat tukang jualan poster?
Itu karena dia menjual poster seorang bintang yang sedang menjadi idolaku..yaitu: John Stamos (bener gak ya tulisannya).
Sesungguhnya pun bukan hanya karena ada poster itu saja, tapi lebih karena tindakan yang dilakukan sesudah melihatnya..yaitu..menciumnya!
Hahaha..yah..tindakan norak itu yang menjadi reminder nya dan ucapan Mamie menjadi penegasnya..katanya waktu itu.."nih anak sugesti-an".
Ketidakmengertian tentang arti kata sugesti-an itulah yang bikin susah sekali tuk melupakan kejadian itu.

Setelah lebih bisa kontrol diri, tindakan tiba-tiba mencium yang diidolakan memang bisa dieliminir..tapi tidak dengan berarti tidak tergila-gila akan sesuatu lagi.
Tergila-gila akan sesuatu atau beberapa hal hampir tidak bisa ditahan..malah setelah semakin tahu nikmatnya hidup semakin bertambahlah yang digilai..

Coba bayangkan, pasti akan sulit tuk tidak tergila-gila kalau..
Bertemu dengan buku yang menggugah hati dan pikiran..seperti Il Postino atau Vahdventure..
Atau, bertemu dengan komik yang lucu, menghibur sekaligus mengharukan..seperti Miiko.. (eh, komik juga buku ya?).
Atau, bertemu anjing yang lucu, menghibur, menggemaskan, cantik, ganteng, pintar, seperti Luv..Liv..Keiko..
Atau, bertemu lagu-lagu yang bagus, lirik dan melodinya menggugah hati..seperti lagunya George Michael..Sting..John Meyer..Sheryl Crow..Fourplay..Michael Frank..Sugarbabes..(eh..dah kebanyakan ya?).
Atau..(..bisa bantu mengisi bagian sini..?).

Ada satu hal yang disenangi tetapi tidak sampai tergila-gila..
Seperti bertemu dengan orang-orang yang menyenangkan..yaitu: semua teman-temanku..!
Ini.mungkin karena sadar bahwa mereka benar-benar sesuatu yang memiliki kebebasan tuk bergerak dan menentukan keberadaan mereka.
Hidup membawa mereka kemanapun hidup mau.
Sama seperti perjalanan keberadaan diri sendiri..hidup membawaku kemanapun hidup mau.

Sejak kecil, punya banyak teman tidak pernah menjadi target.
Mungkin karena saat itu ada banyak hal yang harus dimainkan, diperhatikan, dilakukan seperti: bermain sepeda, bermain rumah-rumahan, bersih-bersihin ruang kelas waktu TK (ini kesukaan sebelum dijemput pulang sekolah), belajar menggambar, belajar main kasti, belajar matematika, belajar bahasa Inggris, bermain Tak Benteng, memperhatikan bunga kembang sepatu, menyenggol-nyenggol tanaman putri malu supaya malu-malu menutup daun dan bunganya.. menangis dan merenung mengapa diejek kristen-kristen karena memakai baju dan sepatu warna putih, memijat pergelangan tangan ibu guru Yok yang keseleo karena main voley (..kalau tidak salah ingat)..pokoknya sibuk.

Berdasarkan pengalaman..
Teman datang..dengan banyak cara namun pergi dengan sedikit cara.
Namun, entah mengapa tetap ada keyakinan, bahwa ke mana pun teman berada, bila memang pertemanan itu tak terbantahkan oleh jarak dan waktu..pertemanan pasti tetap tinggal bersama.
Datang dengan cara yang tak biasa, sudah menjadi kebiasaannya.
Pergi dengan cara yang biasa, sudah pula menjadi kebiasaannya..pertemanan.

Tergila-gila bisa terjadi pada seorang teman bila...teman biasa itu berubah status menjadi teman luar biasa.
Tidak bisa tidur, tidak nafsu makan, tidak berselera terhadap lagu tertentu..hanya bisa membayangkan dirinya, hanya nafsu tuk ketemu dia, hanya berselera mendengar suaranya..benar-benar hanya dia..hahaha..repotnya.

Tergila-gila yang jenis terakhir ini akan menyenangkan kalau..ternyata juga digila-gilai olehnya..jadi gayung benar-benar bersambut.

Hanya mungkin satu yang patut disadari..
Perginya pertemanan jenis ini sering kali punya kebiasaan terjadi dengan cara yang tak biasa..hingga membuat kekagetan yang cukup luar biasa.
Hingga sering ditemukan menimbulkan histeria.
Sehingga kemudian lahirlah cerita-cerita tak biasa terhadap dia yang mengalaminya.

Tergila-gila sepertinya hampir dimiliki semua dari kita.
Hhhmmm..
Sesungguhnya tak pernah ada penawarnya tuk tak begitu.
Hhhmmm..
Andaikan ada yang telah menemukan formula anti tergila-gila..
Mungkin..dunia akan biasa-biasa saja ya?